Is There Such a Thing As Porn Law?

From the Miami/Dade County Sun-Sentinel:

When Miami-Dade voters agreed to spend $1 million to restore the Flagler Memorial on Monument Island, many hoped the beautification of one of the county's most revered historic structures would attract new visitors.

But probably not porn stars.

The lushly landscaped island . . . is now the backdrop for an online porn video produced by RealityKings.com.

And, of course, instead of laughing this off, or thinking people are deeply offended , so naturally they're trying to find some way to prosecute the porn production company, which, obviously, only brings more attention to what would otherwise be a soon-forgotten porn clip among tens of thousands of porn clips floating around the internet.

No, instead of thinking "gee whiz, we should put some security out there," they're trying to find some way to legally condemn the conduct. But never fear, RealityKings.com hired what surely is one of the best Porn Law minds in South Florida:

Though state laws prohibit exposing oneself in public, [Attorney Lawrence] Walters said the rules apply only if someone witnesses the act. He said there was no one on or around the island at the time — save for the actors and crew.

"The last thing they want to do is create problems," he said, noting that the Reality Kings crew members are "good corporate citizens" who donate to charity. "

So if you run around naked, and no one sees it, you didn't violate any laws. Talk about helpful things they don't teach you in law school! And it's also nice to know that the people behind RealityKings.com are positive influences on the community. I would hate to think the people producing low-quality anal sex films in an industry replete with heroin addicts and prostitutes who use their sex films as advertising are anything but upstanding community contributors.

But Mr. Walters (who I think is the guy whose firm owns the name "firstamendment.com") has company in those having or gaining sex law expertise.

Detective Juan Sanchez, a Miami Beach police spokesman, referred questions to Fernandez, who said the city's legal staff is reviewing the issue.

Um...yeah. The film runs about 50 minutes. I'm 90% sure "legal staff is reviewing the issue" means some lawyers are watching the clip (and probably other clips, to better put the facts in context) over and over again.

And there seems to be fertile ground for more lawyers to be involved:

Even the waters around the island are attracting debauchery, according to a Venetian Islands resident who last summer complained to the city that a charter boat for swingers was docked next door. Fernandez said the city is looking into the allegations.

I bet they are. "Excuse me, I'm wondering if you happened to be on a swinger boat last summer?"

At law schools all over the country, law schools have journals and certificate programs in ever-more irrelevant and esoteric subjects. How long before someone puts out a Journal of Law and Fornication or offers a certificate in Pornography Law? Or is this covered under the oversupplied balloon of Entertainment Law? And how many hits will I get solely for using the words "anal sex" and "pornography" in this post?